Fall, 1982

Morning dreams - Hanging around with Robert and Elaine and a bunch of other people. at one time we are at High's, & I hear music in my head so I go wild and start dancing in bizarre contortions. People look at me strangely, but not as much (really!) as they would in real life. Rob was wearing a black T shirt. I was getting tired of Elaine. I think she was wearing something very low-cut. Then I think we were in my blue room, & I was scantily clad, & Mr. Barnes was in the other room with Leah explaining that he did want her to enter the contest, but since she was not a Potomac resident she was going to have to bullshit it. Also, we somehow all knew that Leah was a 'bedwetter', but that's not the worst thing a Potomac resident could be, Barnes said implicitly.

So anyway, Elaine and Rob were in my blue room, and I started climbing my door just for the fun of it. Somehow I knew the hinges would fall apart, but it didn't really bother me. I climbed it smoothly and neatly, it was satisfying to have climbed it that well (sexual undertones?) & then the hinges fell apart, & I neatly jumped off the door, to the ground, & I told the two of them that I knew it was gonna happen, but... Then I started worrying what to tell Mr. Barnes, so Robert suggested that I be totally nude on the bed & pass out, so I'll be excused - I said "nah.."

And then, other scene w/ Beth and a friend of hers who looked exactly like her, although somehow she did resemble the girl at Woodward who looks like Tom (black haired shy guy)...She also looked like Christiane's best friend who was a heroin addict, & for good reason - she was a heroin addict! We were in the park (Wells) w/ Beth and a friend, & Beth was getting to ride her mare under difficult conditions, & her friend and I were sucking on heroin syringes-This was supposedly the 3rd time in my life that I had done it, & I was starting to worry that I'd get addicted. But Beth's friend was really addicted. I asked Beth: "you've tried this 8-10 times & you don't feel you need it, right?"

"That's true, but my friend here really needs it" said Beth. The syringe was a bit dangerous in one's mouth, I was afraid I'd get pricked, but it tasted very good, - kind of sweet, maybe a bit tangy...(like lemonade?) Then, for some reason, Beth asked us how much we weighed, & I go "To tell you the truth, I weigh 128lbs" (not true). They both act surprised, and Beth goes: "I thought you were in your low twenties, like a white lily amidst impressive buildings." In a way it was typical of Beth to say something like that. Then me & her friend were sitting on the seesaw & Beth ran off to talk to a new character who just entered the picture. Meanwhile, I decided I didn't need the heroin, so I handed my half-full syringe to the girl, who grabbed it greedily from my hand. I expected her to say thanks, she didn't. Then I realized she was a heroin addict, so that explained her manners.

(Viscera)